Item #: SCP-300-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-300-J is to be kept in a locked containment box in storage. Level-2 researchers are permitted to test SCP-300-J per Site director discretion.
Description: SCP-300-J is a sentient, standard brand, red plastic ruler with the anomalous ability to affect all mention of its existence. No measurement markings are indicated on its surface.
Once a human acknowledges its existence, SCP-300-J will try to convince them that it is a ruler of a kingdom. SCP-300-J does this by interrupting all forms of human communication. SCP-300-J's compulsion is noted to be easily overcome usually by correcting any statements involving the object.
Once visual contact is made with SCP-300-J, it will begin to communicate with observers telepathically, often interrupting thoughts and redirecting them to its presence.
The following is taken from audio transcriptions combined with notes transcribed by Dr. Donald during the interview.
Dr. Donald: “Good day, Your Magnif- Uh- SCP-300-J.”
SCP-300-J: “Fool, acknowledge your one and only Ruler.”
Dr. Donald: “I am not worthy of y- fuck… I am not inclined to do that, SCP-300-J. Please tell us, which kingdo- urrgh… where do you hail fr- ah come on!”
SCP-300-J: “You wish to know of the kingdom from which I hail. Yet you do not understand that I am the one hailed. You'd better get this straight, my rule is beyond measure!”
Dr. Donald: “Right, I think that's enough. Ending prais- urgh fuck this thing. Ending interview.”
SCP-300-J: “Tell that damned crown to stop stealing my glory! This is where I'm drawing the line! Give a crown an inch and he thinks he's a bloody ruler.”
Dr. Donald: “Oh god.”